Web's Site. Wow I have truly no idea what I want to do with all this. Does anyone really care? Do I care? Probably at least a little.
Well yes, at any rate welcome to my Site. I do intend to attempt to keep some sort of record of my artistic endeavors. I for a moment self suggested returning to a platform like Bluesky, but I don't think I can do that anymore. Hurts my brain too much. Even my ocasional trip to instagram or reddit cause me a great deal of pain.
I've been drawing when I can, or have the want to as opposed to forcing the necessity to practise. I want to return to a cadence where it feels like I'm doing it for myself rather than just to Get Good or what have you. College chipped away at my will to create, and work solidified work as a means to prove myself worthy of attaining Capital. I despise The Grindset and wish simply to improve and express myself. It feels good to finally be able to say this and truly mean it after so long beating myself up for not being "Dedicated" or whatever the fuck. I've once again returned, somewhat, to the desire to create because it excites me.
I say this however with the realization that I could very well be losing my job of 6 years soon. Thus I may have to continue to Perform in order to prove my worthiness to exist and contribute to The Industry. It is very ass and I do not want to. I've had many thoughts on what I would want to do instead of making/working on games but I always come up short. Trades are cool but pay a bit like ass in some regards and while I do not shirk the idea of manual labor, I like it in fact, I'd really prefer not to. Being a charter pilot might be nice, getting to fuck around with dinky little cessnas, but it'd take me 2 years to get a CPL and then I'd have to find a place willing to hire someone who's old and lacking experience. Photography is always on my mind, but I am hesitant to turn another one of my hobbies into a career, potentially ruining my enjoyment of it entirely.
Hopefully, I can remain in this position for as long as I am able or at least the severance package is structured in a way where I won't have to worry about funds for a few months and can just dick around while I look for more work in the industry.
And that's the first blogpost. Neat. I don't intend to do anything on this site with any regular cadence, rather I'll update it whenever I make or think of something cool or have something I want to say. If you're even reading this, thanks! You're cool. See ya around!